Brian Paul Mallik Photography
If you’re here, chances are you’re in the midst of wedding planning. Congrats! There are so many blogs out there about wedding planning, but I feel like there aren’t that many about the wonder of bridesmaids.
Your bridesmaids are the ones who have been there with you through thick and thin, but often times that doesn’t come without a little bit of drama. Here’s how to know if someone should or should not be in your bridal party.
They should if….
You cannot picture your day without them
They should not if…..
They cause drama
They should if….
You can count on this person to show up no matter what, and help you through the stress of planning a wedding
They should not if….
They always have an excuse for cancelling last minute and aren’t reliable
They should if…
You can tell they are genuinely happy for you
They should not if…
They seem jealous, want to make things about them, or seem like they have their own agenda
If you find yourself thinking about a particular friend who reminds you of those “should not” traits, but you still want them to be part of your day, they don’t need to be uninvited to everything! This person, and other friends who are not bridesmaids, can still be invited to your engagement event, bachelorette party, bridal shower, and obviously the wedding! You can even have non-bridal party friends and family at your getting ready location with you.
Chua Lee Photography
With all of that said, one of the questions I got this week is who should pay for bridesmaids dresses.
Traditionally and most often, bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. This doesn't come without tension and drama sometimes. The reason brides have strayed away from one specific dress style is to give their 'maids some flexibility in what they buy, which can sometimes give them more expensive or less expensive options. If a really cohesive look is important to you, that can give less flexibility. The only thing I can suggest if you are looking for a super specific look for everyone is to be prepared to offer to help finance the dresses if some feel they cannot pay. You can also tell them that you understand if they need to turn the offer down if they cannot pay. If they can't be a bridesmaid, they can still join you in other activities and will be more likely to afford it.
This brings me to my last point… You don’t even need bridesmaids.
I know, I know, it’s a bold statement… but think about it.
All of your friends can still be part of every “bridesmaid” activity listed above, but they don’t have to be bridesmaids to do all of these things! Of course they can still be in your “squad”. Here are some of the pros to not having any official bridesmaids:
-You save money on florals, because you don’t have to pay for everyone to have a bouquet
-Your would-be-bridesmaids save money, because they don’t have to buy a dress that they’ll never wear again
-You and would-be bridesmaids save even more money, because you don’t feel obligated to pay for everyone’s hair and makeup, dresses, etc. or have to ask them to pay. They can do it if they want
-You also save money on bridesmaid gifts
-You don’t put responsibility on people who may not come through for you, saving yourself stress and drama
- You don’t put pressure on your friends, who you deeply care about, to spend lots of money if they are not in a financial position to do so
-More friends are able to soundly attend your bachelorette party because they are saving money on all of these other things
Karissa Layne Photography